10 Signs You’re a Supportive Spouse Who Is There For Your Partner No Matter What

No matter what life throws your way, having a supportive spouse through the good and the bad can make all the difference. If, when you’re having an awful day, your spouse will sit and listen to you vent rather than dismiss your issue by telling you “it’ll be OK,” you can move on to resolve the situation knowing that you have the support of your partner.

Or if you’re having a great day by your own standards, even if the rest of the world wouldn’t see its events as anything to write home about, a supportive spouse will be right there with you, celebrating.

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

Finding the perfect person who can be all these things for you can prove to be difficult and out of your control, sure, but what you can control are your own abilities to be a supportive partner for your other half. Whether you’ve got all of these down pat or could use a hand in figuring out how to be more present and caring for your partner, read on to see the signs that indicate whether you’re on the right track.

1 You make time to talk to them about their goals, plans, and future.

It’s easy to sometimes focus on what needs to get done day to day to keep your household running while subsequently forgetting that it’s important to also focus on achieving future goals and growth.

When you’re a supportive partner, you always make time for your spouse to talk about their goals and plans, both short term and long term, and to outline what they see for themselves in the future — both for your shared relationship and for their own self.

2 You encourage all of your spouse’s ideas, from the ridiculous to the genius.

Even when the idea is for a company that makes boxers for men called “Sausage Pockets” (yes, that’s a real idea I’ve had to sit through), encouraging your spouse’s ideas is important, and a supportive spouse will always do so.

Whether it’s a legitimate idea for how to do something or a silly idea about what to do for date night, you don’t necessarily have to agree with each and every one, but by encouraging them all in some way (maybe for the Sausage Pocket idea you encourage their creativity and ingenuity rather than the product itself), you show your partner that you have their back and support them no matter what.

3 You take an equal approach to parenting.

Whether you stay home with the kids, they do, or you both work, you pay attention to what your kids need from you both and do your share to make sure you’re helping out as much as possible.

From entertaining the kids while your spouse takes a shower to changing a blowout diaper if you didn’t handle the last one, there are lots of opportunities to lighten your partner’s load and show that you’re in it together.

4 You can sense when your partner needs a break.

If you’re a supportive partner, you don’t need to hear the words “I need a break” to know that your partner is tired, stressed, or upset and needs a few minutes (or more) to themselves.

Whether they’ve been with the kids all day and you just got home to chaos or they had a seriously long day at work and need 20 minutes to run a relaxing bath, you know when to let them have a little me time so that they can come back into whatever you’re doing together with a fresh mindset.

Related Topics:

5 You try to empathise with your partner’s problems rather than immediately fix them.

Listening when your partner talks about a problem they have is so important, but what’s even more important is the way you then respond to the issue.

A supportive partner knows that sometimes their spouse just wants to hear “I’m sorry you’re dealing with that, that really sucks,” instead of a laundry list of things they can do to fix the issue off the bat.

Sometimes the latter is necessary and helpful, but usually your spouse will mention they need help sorting through something or want your opinion on how to solve a problem at some point during the conversation, which is your cue to lay out the helpful advice.

6 You understand that you can’t always be their first priority.

Sure, sometimes it’s upsetting when your partner has a last-minute change of plans, ruining something you two had planned together, but for the most part, you’re understanding. Whether they need to stay late at work, are sleep-deprived, or just need to reschedule a plan, you can support that need without picking a fight about their lack of attention to you.

In turn, they’ll feel that their needs and time are being respected rather than feeling guilty.

7 You ask questions about their day — and actually remember the details.

It’s one thing to ask “How was your day?” in the first place, but it’s another thing to make sure that this mindless, habitual question doesn’t become just that.

If you’re supportive of your spouse, you’re listening to what they’re really saying about their day, their job, their friends — and remembering the main details.

Not having to ask “Who’s Joan again?” every time your spouse is talking about their boss shows them you’re actually listening and taking it all in.

8 You don’t tune them out or check your phone when they’re talking, no matter what the conversation’s about.

There’s nothing more disheartening and rude than noticing the person you’re talking to one on one is tuning out the conversation — especially if they’re your partner. No matter who initiated the conversation, a supportive partner always gives their full attention to it.

Sure, you multitask and chat while dinner’s cooking or while getting ready for bed, but you always do your best to listen or at least give your partner a heads up if your mind is elsewhere or you need to desperately check your email.

9 You’re their biggest cheerleader.

Whether they got a promotion at work, are running a marathon, or have mastered a recipe they’ve been testing, you’re there to cheer them on. For both big things and small, a supportive partner is ready to congratulate and celebrate wins (even if it’s the simple fact that you opened that pickle jar that had been giving you some trouble — we all like to win).

10 You know when to apologise.

You always know when it’s time to take a step back during an argument and apologies. Sometimes that means apologizing for forgetting to do something, for accusing them of something, or for picking a fight (whether you ended up being wrong or right).

Even more so, you understand the difference between apologizing just to end the argument and actually meaning it and doing what it takes to make the situation better between you both.

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn…

4 Reasons I Can’t Wait For My Kid to Turn 4

5 Ways To Be a Better Parent

Small changes to your parenting style can have a big impact on your children

Here are 10 small changes you could make to your parenting style that will bring you a long way to a happier, healthier family dynamic:

1 BE INTERESTED IN YOUR CHILD’S LIFE

When our lives are busy, even frenetic, it is easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of chores, homework, taxiing children around, our own work and so on.

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

Within this, we can lose sight of our children and what is going on for them in school, with friends and even at the hobbies or pastimes we work to facilitate for them.

Related Topics:

2 PRIORITISE YOUR CHILDREN

This follows directly from being interested in them and what they are doing. As soon as you can create more space for them, by pausing, you will find it easier to engage with them.

Creating that space might mean delaying some chores until after they are asleep, or not volunteering on a committee, or pausing your favorite TV show.

3 SHOW YOUR CHILDREN WHAT YOUR VALUES ARE

Children need our actions to fit with what we say. There is no point in talking about honesty, loyalty, patience and so on, unless we are demonstrating those same values in our dealings with our children and with others.

4 BECOME PREDICTABLE FOR YOUR CHILDREN

When we don’t know what to expect we can become anxious or fearful. We end up on edge and having to be hyper vigilant or alert. When things are more predictable we can relax. The same will be true for your children with your behavior.

5 SEE THE WORLD FROM YOUR CHILD’S PERSPECTIVE

Most parents have their own agenda, their own needs and their own expectations of what should and shouldn’t be done. Often this guides our interactions with our children, to the exclusion of their agenda, their needs or their expectations of themselves.

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn…

How to Stay Calm When Your Children Misbehave in Public

5 Methods To Be a Better Parent

Small changes to your parenting style can have a big impact on your children

1 STOP PUNISHING YOUR CHILD

Guiding and correcting children’s misbehavior is vital to help them learn to make better choices. Sometimes that means letting them suffer the consequences of their behavior. But correcting their behavior doesn’t need punishment.

2 LET YOUR CHILD KNOW WHAT THEY DID RIGHT

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

Catching children being good is a great balance for those times when we might find them misbehaving and have to correct them.

3 CREAT ACHIEVABLE OBJECTIVES

In life we often need a challenge to motivate us to put in effort. Children need challenges too. However, we have to be mindful to set the challenges up such that they are hard enough to motivate them to strive to achieve them, without being too hard, such that they appear to fail all the time.

If You’re Sick, Here’s What You Need to Know About Breastfeeding With a Fever

10 Tips for Parenting in Public

Kids don’t always behave as we’d like when we’re out and about. They get over-stimulated and stressed out. And when children are at family gatherings, they’re often off their schedules and especially excited, so their behavior can be particularly challenging.

Tend to basic needs.

Be pre-emptive. Don’t take a tired, hungry child anywhere. Even if you’re going to a meal, assume your child will be hungry before the food is served and bring snacks. If you’re in the grocery store, head first to the foods you will let her eat, and choose something for her to snack on while you shop.

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

Prepare your child.

Explain, even to a baby, what will be happening. Describe what you will do, and any expectations you have for your child’s behavior.

“At Grandma’s we hold hands and say a blessing, like this. During the blessing, only the person who is offering the blessing speaks. The rest of us will be quiet.”

Invite your child to contribute positively.

Describe the situation and explore with your child what kinds of contributions would be helpful.

“At the restaurant, the waiters are rushing around balancing food. How can we help them do a good job and not spill things?”

Stay present to your child.

Often when children “act out” in public or when they’re visiting relatives, it’s because they feel our attention is elsewhere. That makes them a bit insecure, so they act out to get the reassurance that we’re still attending to them.

Related Topics:

Find a way to involve your child.

It’s simply not developmentally reasonable for a young child to watch quietly while you’re in the hardware store. His job description is to learn about the world through hands-on exploration. So let him touch when you can, and ask him questions:

“Look at all the different sizes of screws…This is such a tiny screw….what could it be used for?”

When your child gets restless, don’t ignore it.

Most of us get more anxious, and try to move faster. We say “We’re almost done shopping…be patient for a few more minutes.” But a young child simply can’t do that. He needs your help to get back in balance, so he doesn’t fall apart. Start by slowing down and taking a deep breath.

Find ways to honor or redirect your child’s impulses.

“You want to run! Let’s go back outside the store for a few minutes to run, since you’ve been sitting in the car. Then, when we come back in the store, let’s walk THIS way!”

Start with empathy and listen to your child before you jump in to problem solve.

Once a child feels heard and understood, she’s more likely to be able to calm herself.

“You seem pretty mad…What’s going on? So you’re upset because your cousin said. This is a tough problem.

When possible, set your usual limits even when your child resists.

When your child wails “But I WANT the candy, I NEED it!” of course you acknowledge how much she wants it. But that doesn’t mean you buy it, unless you want to buy it every time.

Move your child to a more private place.

If your child has a meltdown, it’s impossible to attend to him and also finish your shopping. Just scoop him up and remove him from the situation

SOURCE:

Watch This Video To Learn…

10 Signs You are a Supportive Spouse Who Is There For Your Partner No Matter What

10 Tips On Improving Parenting Skills

A good parent strives to make decisions in the best interest of the child.

A good parent doesn’t have to be perfect. No one is perfect.

No parent is perfect.

No child is perfect either … keeping this in mind is important when we set our expectations.

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

But it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t work towards that goal.

Set high standards for ourselves first and then our children second. We serve as a role model to them.

Here are 10 tips on learning effective parenting skills.

#1 Modeling

The person you want your child to be — respect your child, show them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child’s emotion — and your child will follow suit.

#2: Loving

Show your love.

There is no such thing as loving your child too much. Loving them cannot spoil them.

Loving your child can be as simple as giving them hugs, spending time with them and listening to their issues seriously.

#3: Positive Parenting

Being a good parent means you need to teach your child the moral in what is right and what is wrong. Setting limits and being consistent are the keys to good discipline. Be kind and firm when enforcing those rules. Focus on the reason behind the child’s behavior. And make it an opportunity to learn for the future, rather than to punish for the past.

#4: Being A Safe Haven

Children raised by parents who are consistently responsive tend to have better emotional development, social development and mental health outcomes.

#5: Communicating And Integrating

Talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how he/she felt. You don’t have to provide solutions. Just listening to them talk and asking clarifying questions will help them make sense of their experiences and integrate memories.

#6: Reflecting

Reflecting on our own childhood is a step towards understanding why we parent the way we do.

Make note of things you’d like to change and think of how you’d do it differently in real scenario. Try to be mindful and change your behavior the next time those issues come up.

#7: Your Own Well-Being

Pay attention to your own well-being.

Take good care of yourself physically and mentally. Take time to strengthen the relationship with your spouse. If these two areas fails, your child will suffer, too.

#8: No Spanking

No doubt, to some parents, spanking can bring about short-term compliance which sometimes is a much needed relief for the parents.

Spanking your child is modeling to your child that he/she can resolve issues by violence.

#9: Keeping Perspective

If you’re like most parents, you want your child to do well in school, be productive, be responsible and independent, enjoy meaningful relationships with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.

#10: Take A Shortcut

Taking these “shortcuts” may require more work on your part in the short-term, but can save you lots of time and agony in the long run.

Happy Parenting!

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn…

10 Signs You are a Supportive Spouse Who Is There For Your Partner No Matter What

Truths About Being an Extroverted Parent, According to Experts

Having a soft spot for the spotlight and a knack for drumming up conversation with just about anyone typically means one thing as far as your personality is concerned: you’re probably an extrovert. And while being an introverted parent has many benefits, there are also tons of parenting perks if you’re cut from a loud and gregarious cloth.

Sophia Dembling, the author of Introverts in Love: The Quiet Way to Happily Ever After, and Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychological and brain sciences professor at the University of Massachusetts and author of several books, including The Search For Fulfillment, weigh in on all the pros, cons, and everything in between when it comes to extroverted parenting tactics.

They tend to be pretty laid-back.

As far as dealing with day-to-day problems, extroverts generally know how to play it cool and usually don’t dwell on things for too long. “They’re fun and easygoing,” says Sophia. “They don’t overthink and things happen around them.” There’s something to be said for tackling an issue head on — think: breaking curfew — rather than letting the anger build up.

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

They’re always down to do something.

Parents who consider themselves to be extroverted are akin to the Energizer Bunny — they just keep going and going. And that means they’re generally always game to have a good time, whether it’s trying something new, like rock climbing, or heading up the PTA.

If that sounds like you, be prepared to field a ton of activity requests, especially if your kiddo is also super outgoing and active. “Extroverts are going to be the parent that’s going to go sledding and surfing with their children,” says Dr. Whitbourne. “They’re the ones your kids will look for when they want to have a good time and get out of the house.”

They have a playful side.

Although it may be challenging for an extroverted parent to fully understand their children’s emotions at times, they can get in touch with their silly side at the drop of a dime. “Extroverted parents are going to find it easier to get into the silliness of actually being a kid,” explains Dr. Whitbourne.

So the next time your little guy needs a pick-me-up, don’t be afraid to crack a few jokes or get a little loud — sometimes a distraction is exactly what the doctor ordered.

They may have a hard time understanding their kids if they’re more reserved.

As much as we want the best for our children, it’s also important to appreciate your differences personality-wise. “An extroverted parent with an extroverted kid sounds like a party,” says Sophia, but, “an extroverted parent with an introverted kid might mean a lot of worried prompting: ‘Stop sitting alone in your room! Go play with friends!'” Try to avoid getting too worked up over it.

Dr. Whitbourne says to be extra mindful of this if you have an introvert on your hands: “It’s important to respect what she actually finds comfortable. It doesn’t mean you can’t push her out of her comfort zone ever, having her takes dance lessons, but don’t throw her into a school production where she’s going to have to stand up on the stage in front of 100 people.”

They’re known for making a little noise.

You know that mum who seems to have boundless energy on the sidelines? Well, she’s probably an extrovert, and that means there’s a reason she never stops cheering. “Extroverts make a lot of noise and draw attention to themselves, especially when there’s more than one in a room,” says Dr. Whitbourne. Oh, and don’t be surprised if you’re met with a lot of eye rolls and comments along the lines of “Mum, you’re so loud!” Sometimes the truth hurts!

They’re usually considered to be “the fun parent.”

If you hear chatter from your kids’ friends that you’re one of the cool parents, don’t be surprised. Extroverts are known for being the life of the party and have no problem touting that reputation.

“They have a lot of fun and are especially attractive in social settings,” says Dr. Whitbourne. “Extroverts like laughing and are specifically more active. Think less reading, more going out there and playing pick-up basketball or hanging out with other folks.”

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn…

Backhanded Compliments Parents Get at Restaurants

12 Ways To Be The Meanest Mom In The World

When your kids tell you you’re mean, take it as a compliment. The rising generation has been called the laziest, rudest, most entitled kids in history. Don’t give up. They may think you’re mean now, but they’ll thank you later.

Make your kids go to bed at a reasonable time

Is there really anyone who hasn’t heard how important a good night’s rest is to a child’s success? Be the parent and put your kid to bed. No one ever said the kid had to want to go to bed

2. Don’t give your kids dessert every day

Sweets should be saved for special occasions. That’s what makes them a “treat.” If you give in to your child’s demands for goodies all the time, he won’t appreciate the gesture when someone offers a sweet gift or reward.

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

3. Make them pay for their own stuff

If you want something, you have to pay for it. That’s the way adult life works. To get your kids out of your basement in the future, you need to teach your children now that the gadgets, movies, video games, sports teams and camps they enjoy have a price. If they have to pay all or part of that price, they’ll appreciate it more.

4. Don’t pull strings

Some kids get a rude awakening when they get a job and realize that the rules actually do apply to them. They have to come on time and do what the boss wants. And, (gasp!) part of the job they don’t even like.

5. Make them do hard things

Don’t automatically step-in and take over when things get hard. Nothing gives your kids a bigger self-confidence boost than sticking to it and accomplishing something difficult for them.

6. Give them a watch and an alarm clock

Your child will be better off if he learns the responsibility of managing his own time. You’re not always going to be there to remind her to turn off the TV and get ready to go

7. Don’t always buy the latest and greatest

Teach your children gratitude for, and satisfaction with, the things they have. Always worrying about the next big thing and who already has it will lead to a lifetime of debt and unhappiness.

8. Let them feel loss

If your child breaks a toy, don’t replace it. He’ll learn a valuable lesson about taking care of his stuff. If your child forgets to turn in homework, let him take the lower grade or make him work out extra credit with his teacher himself.

9. Control media

If all the other parents let their child jump off a bridge, would you? Don’t let your kids watch a show or play a video game that is inappropriate for children just because all their friends have done it.

10. Make them apologize

If your child does something wrong, make her fess up and face the consequences. Don’t brush rudeness, bullying, or dishonesty under the rug. If you mess up, set the example and eat your humble pie.

11. Mind their manners

Even small children can learn the basics of how to treat another human with respect and dignity. By making politeness a habit, you’ll be doing your kids a huge favor.

12. Make them work – for free

Whether it’s helping grandma in the garden or volunteering to tutor younger kids, make service a part of your child’s life.

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn…

Tips On Improving Parenting Skills

5 Methods To Be a Better Parent

Small changes to your parenting style can have a big impact on your children

1 STOP PUNISHING YOUR CHILD

2 LET YOUR CHILD KNOW WHAT THEY DID RIGHT

Catching children being good is a great balance for those times when we might find them misbehaving and have to correct them.

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

3 CREAT ACHIEVABLE OBJECTIVES

4 SPEND MORE TIME BEING ACTIVE AND IN THE OUTDOORS

Not only does this have a health benefit for you and your child, but getting outside and having the chance to run, climb, roll, dance, skip, play and have fun can boost everyone’s mood and morale.

5 IF YOU HAVE A PARTNER, TALK TO THEM ABOUT YOUR PARENTING APPROACH

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn…

How To Be a Good Parent

9 Backhanded Compliments Parents Get at Restaurants

Before I had children, I used to love going out to dinner. I would pick out the perfect outfit, my girlfriends and I would drink our favorite cocktails, and I would eat (and actually enjoy) food without a care in the world.

But when kids do come, dinner outings just aren’t the same.

Gone are the cute outfits and funny cocktail conversation, and instead come bulky diaper bags and nicely worded threats to “eat your dinner now.”

And total strangers suddenly become very interested in why you’re out to eat with all your children. Through talking to other mums, I’ve discovered nine backhanded “compliments” people think it’s OK to say to parents while dining out with children.

“You really have your hands full, don’t you?”

Really? I wasn’t aware.

“Your daughter has a boy haircut,” or the equally judge-y, “I see you got into Mommy’s nail polish, little guy.”

Or they’re just freely expressing themselves?

“Wow, three boys! You must be dying for a girl.”

Nope, I’m fine.

“Are they all yours?,” or the rudest, “Do they all have the same dad?”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

“Aren’t you brave coming here with all of them on your own!”

They’re my kids, lady, not wild animals off the street.

“Wow, you sure have a lot of kids!”

And your point is?

“Your partner is SO good with them!”

Maybe that’s because they’re the other parent.

When someone tells you your family is adorable, but their smile tells you they’re more worried about the potential noise.

Don’t worry, we won’t disturb your precious meal.

“Cherish this time, they grow up so fast.”

My child is climbing on the table, so that’s not a moment I feel I need to cherish. But thanks.

And that rare, magical moment you actually get a real compliment about your kids’ behavior.

Yes, they do have really good manners!

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn…

How to Stay Calm When Your Children Misbehave in Public

Frustrated With Your Kids? – 3 Tips for More Joyful, Effective Parenting

Parenting is a tough job. Kids really know how to push our buttons. Often, we just feel lucky if we can make it through the day losing our minds.

The good news is that there is a way to reclaim your sanity as a parent, to get a handle on all the chaos,

get your kids to listen, and start to enjoy your role as a parent.

Honest!

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

Theology of the Body reminds us that families are schools of love and virtue where we all learn to live life as a gift, and that parents are the most importantteachers in this school of love.

Approach parenting in a thoughtful, intentional, graceful manner, the more we are able to fulfill our mission as Catholics

Want to be a more joyful, grace-filled parent? Start practicing the following tips today.

Remember To Lead– When you’re correcting your kids, only 5% of your energy should be focused on what they did wrong. The other 95% should be focused on leading your children to a better place. Before you correct your kids, ask yourself, “What does my child need to handle this situation better next time?” Put your energy into teaching those skills. Punishments don’t work. Teaching does.

Celebrate Success–Tell your kids when they handle a situation well by acknowledging the virtue they displayed. You don’t have to throw a parade–in fact, it’s much better if you don’t–but simple comments like, “That was really responsible.”, “You handled that really respectfully.”, “That was very generous.” “That was a very loving choice.” and similar comments help kids understand that virtues aren’t just a list of words to memorize, but a practical guide for handling life’s ups and downs with grace. Believe it or not, kids want to be good, and they desperately crave your approval.

Fill the Tank–There is a fuel that drives good behavior. Don’t forget to fill the tank. Both research and generations of wise parents will tell you that extravagant affection is the fuel that makes kids wants to behave and try harder to please you. Research shows that affection is actually communication. Taking time to hold your kids close all throughout the day actually helps them reset their heart rate, respiration, body temp and other bodily rhythms when they are feeling stressed, frustrated, angry, anxious, or overwhelmed.

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn…