Category: Parenting

30 Things Single Mums Want You to Know

Being a single mum is the hardest job I’ve ever done. I also happen to love it more than anything. I work around the clock — there are no sick days (definitely no personal days either).

I raise my daughter completely on my own and still make all the money as our sole income.

Related Videos:

There’s no partner to vent to at the end of the day or someone who comes home to pick up half the slack.

I pay the bills, cook the meals, clean the house, carpool to gymnastics class, and still find time to spend with my daughter, who I do everything for.

So, the next time you want to judge a book by its cover (or a single mum by her unwashed hair and unbelievably messy house), try to remember people go through things you might never understand. But just in case you want to try, here’s what us single mums really want you to know.

  1.   Some of us are single by choice.
  2.  We’re independent, but we don’t mind being offered extra help when it’s necessary.
  3.   Sometimes it’s hard to accept that help.
  4.  When you date us, you date our kids, too — period.
  5.   We’re used to being in charge.
  6.   We still like to go out but might cancel our plans more often than most. We’re burned out most of the time from doing all the work and sometimes we can’t find a sitter.
  7.   We might not have a “traditional” family, but we’re still damn good mums.
  8.   Don’t feel too sorry for us — we’re much better off being a single mum than staying in a toxic or abusive relationship.
  9.   We’re programmed to be “on” all the time.
  10.   Our dating standards are extremely high. It takes a certain kind of person to date us.
  11.  We wear a lot of hats — mum, dad, cook, maid, breadwinner, friend — but we know we don’t always rock them effortlessly.
  12.  If we had to choose between a spa day and a chance to sleep through an entire night, we would probably choose sleeping.
  13.    It might seem like we’re harder on our kids, but that’s because we have to be both the good cop and the bad cop.
  14.   Just because it didn’t work out with our partner doesn’t mean we’re bad people (it doesn’t always mean our exes are bad people, either).
  15. We don’t always want to hear about how many wonderful people are out there for us to date — some of us aren’t even interested in dating.

Watch This Video To Learn..

4 Reasons I Can’t Wait For My Kid to Turn 4

  1.   But if you do get to take us on a date, make sure it’s not to see a movie — unless you want us to fall asleep.
  2. The weight of the world is on our shoulders almost all of the time.
  3.  We’ve been through it all, so not too much fazes us.
  4. Getting “me” time is extremely rare. And it usually takes place in the five-minute shower we squeeze into our packed schedule.
  5. We might know more words to a Nick Jr. theme song than a song from Justin Timberlake’s new album.
  6. Yes, we do it all.
  7. Don’t judge us — not every parent is perfect, especially when you’re parenting on your own.
  8. It can be difficult for us to trust people since we’ve been hurt, lied to, or disrespected before.
  9. Lorelai Gilmore makes it look easy, but trust us — being a single mum really is harder than it looks.
  10. At the end of the day, we’re all our kids have. It’s a heavy responsibility we take seriously.
  11. Our kids sometimes eat fast food (*gasp*) because we can’t always be in two places at once — like at home cooking and at the office working.
  12. We love our kids, but we still crave time with adults, too.
  13. We’re not looking for a person to solve all our problems.
  14. We enjoy being a strong role model for our children, even if it isn’t always easy.
  15. Our kids don’t have a disadvantage just because they have a single mum — we’re more than capable of giving them the love and affection they need, with or without a partner.

Source:

The Reason Behind This 18-Year-Old’s Tattoo Will Make You (1) Cry and (2) Call Your Parents

Andrew Soldan was just 15 years old when his father passed away from a rare heart disease.

Fast-forward three years: the now 18-year-old posted a photo on Reddit of a sound-wave tattoo he just got.

“For my 18th birthday, I got a tattoo of my dad’s laugh on my arm, he passed away three years ago,” he wrote. “I have his smile and joy wherever I go now.”

Related Topics:

“The tattoo was my idea, but I got the inspiration for it from my uncle, who was originally going to frame the sound wave, but instead I got the tattoo,” Andrew told POPSUGAR.

“I’m very happy with my decision to get it — it makes me calm and happy when I look at it.”

Unlike traditional sound-wave tattoos, Andrew’s cannot be read by a smartphone app, but that doesn’t matter to him because he knows what it means and it’s a symbol of the love he had for his dad.

“There are many things I would love to tell my dad . . . but mostly what I would tell him is that I love him, because I didn’t get to the night before he passed.”

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn…

3 Reasons I’m Thankful My Parents Raised Me With Tough Love

3 Reasons I’m Thankful My Parents Raised Me With Tough Love

I have one standout memory from my childhood: I was a toddler, and I kept reaching for a cookie sheet that had just come out of the oven. I knew it was hot, but I guess I was curious to find out exactly how hot. (Kids are so weird.)

My dad, sick of me not listening to my mom’s warnings, finally said, “Go ahead, touch it.” As you might imagine, I burned my fingers on contact and began scream-crying with swollen hands. But hey, you can bet that I never tried to touch a hot pan again.

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

To this day, I’m still determining whether that was an example of cruelty or tough love, but I did learn my lesson. Fast forward to me today, at 24 years old (my fingers are fine by the way), and I honestly couldn’t be prouder of who and where I am at this semi-early stage in my life. And I genuinely believe that my tough love upbringing played a role.

Beyond that one example, there were plenty more that followed, in which I had to learn to fall and pick myself back up and take responsibility for my mistakes.

I had to pay my own monthly cable bill at 11 years old with the money I earned from chores, I was forced to write essays after every wrongdoing, and I was grounded all the damn time.

But despite their harsh parenting style, which made it clear that we weren’t friends, my parents were also never too far away when I needed them most. I was disciplined, but very much loved.

They weren’t afraid to yell at me or put me in my place, but they also weren’t afraid to give me credit where it was due. Straight As were always rewarded, for example, and they celebrated alongside me each year I made my high school’s cheerleading team.

Growing up as an only child also meant that I didn’t have a support system aside from my parents, but I honestly loved our family dynamic for what it was.

I took it as them being strict and unfair back then, but it’s become apparent as an adult that there was a method to their parenting style. Here are three ways I personally benefited from tough love:

  1. I learned to be independent.

Authoritarian parenting is commonly known to produce children who easily conform and struggle to think for themselves. While my parents did set limits in every way — and rarely explained the rationale behind their rules — they gave me freedom wherever it would yield a potential learning opportunity (aka an “I told you so” moment).

Sure, go ahead and get your cartilage pierced at a sketchy shop in Berkeley that doesn’t card minors.

My ears got infected. I often learned by consequence, which also forced me to figure sh*t out on my own. I had to bail myself out and, as a result, it became second nature to make my own choices and rely on myself.

  1. I grew thick skin.

Because Mum and Dad didn’t coddle me growing up, I was well equipped to handle difficult situations and people. I developed a f*ck you attitude — while still valuing respect and kindness. I wasn’t angry at the world; I just knew how to navigate it early on.

I learned to accept losses as a part of life, to sympathize with those who felt like they needed to be nasty to others, and to welcome hard work graciously.

My parents drilled into my head all throughout my childhood that nothing would ever be handed to me.

  1. I valued humility early on.

The only-child stereotype is typically associated with being spoiled, but because I had to earn everything I had, I was much more appreciative.

My parents raised me to be a confident woman but not without emphasizing the need to remain humble.

I learned to value and celebrate success, but not flaunt it. And I think most importantly, I saw hardship as a means to build character.

Don’t get me wrong — I was not the perfect child. I was a brat at times and butted heads with my parents on a number of occasions.

But the fact that they stood their ground and pushed firm parenting only benefited me in the long run.

Tough love works — but only in combination with genuine care and support. I’m not exactly sure how they managed to figure out this formula, but kudos, Mum and Dad, you did good.

Source:

Watch this video to learn…

Top 25 Baby Boy Names of 2018 in the USA

Here Are the Top 25 Baby Boy Names of 2018 in the USA

The first thing that may come to your mind when you think about naming your son is . . . “Oh, boy.” You know in your heart that the perfect name is out there, but it’s now up to you to comb through them all to find it.

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

You can go the traditional route, the cool route, or the on-trend route, which leans heavily on what’s popular right now. Lucky for you, 2018 has some amazing choices.

Related Topics:

 

To make that job a little easier on you, we’ve compiled a list of the top 25 baby boy names for 2018, in no particular order.

Take a peek and find the one!

  • Logan
  • Theo
  • Arthur
  • Reggie
  • Jaxson
  • Jack
  • Harley
  • Leo
  • Noah
  • Freddie
  • Oscar
  • Hunter
  • Theodore
  • Grayson
  • Joseph
  • Elijah
  • Jake
  • Dylan
  • Austin
  • Jamie
  • Ben
  • Oliver
  • Harry
  • George
  • Charlie

Source:

Watch This  Video To learn…

5 Tips For Good Parenting

Unique Mobiles That Will Do More Than Put Your Baby to Sleep

Mobiles aren’t just something to look pretty in your nursery. They serve the very useful function of being both a beautiful decorative element and an aid for your baby’s cognitive development.

Research shows that visual stimulation can help your baby develop their visual perception and coordination skills, even making them less likely to bump into things.

Related Topics:

A hanging mobile is a great way to provide this visual stimulation to your baby from their first weeks. But it’s important to note, it is considered to be a better option to hang them over the change table than your baby’s cot.

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

That way, no matter what style you choose, it won’t interrupt sleep and will have the added bonus of keeping bub occupied during change time.

 

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn…

Truths About Being an Extroverted Parent According to Experts

29 Things You Should Never, Under Any Circumstances, Say to Your Pregnant Partner

When you’re pregnant, you probably get a little more attention than you’re used to. People give you advice, touch your belly, ask you questions, and stare (yes, there is a human growing inside of me, so can you please let me have your damn seat on the bus?!).

The unsolicited advice, mostly unwelcome petting, and often ridiculous comments come from everyone — strangers and family included — but one person they should never come from? Your partner.

Related Topics:

The person you love is probably just as excited about your growing family as you are, but you’re the one that’s dealing with everything pregnancy has to offer — swollen ankles, itchy skin, sleepless nights, a ridiculous amount of trips to the bathroom, the list goes on.

And while we sometimes get overwhelmed and lash out at a stranger, we usually reserve our heated responses for the ones we love most.

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

So to avoid all that, here’s a list of things every partner of a pregnant woman should never, ever say. Feel free to print it out and hang it on the fridge until your little one’s arrival.

  • I’m so tired.
  • Maybe you should buy some maternity clothes.
  • They ran out of chocolate milkshakes.
  • How are you still hungry?
  • But you just went to the bathroom.
  • So, what’s for dinner tonight?
  • Calm down.
  • I ate the last cookie.
  • I’m going to take a nap.
  • Are you sure there’s only one baby in there?
  • You’re so emotional.
  • You’ve been a little needy lately.
  • You seem to be sweating a lot.
  • You sure you want to eat that weird combination of food?
  • You kinda kept me up last night.
  • Aw, your face is starting to look a little fuller.
  • Why are you so tired?
  • I have a designated driver for nine months!
  • That’s not something to get upset about.
  • Ugh, I feel like I’m gaining weight.
  • Are you seriously crying over that commercial?
  • What’s going on with your ankles?
  • Hey, big mama!
  • Your boobs are almost touching your belly button.
  • I don’t think those pants fit anymore.
  • My back hurts.
  • I can’t wait to have a drink after work tonight.
  • It’s only three more months. Hang in there!
  • At least you get to relax and not go to work for a few months when the baby comes.

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn

Unique Mobiles That Will Do More Than Put Your Baby to Sleep

Managing Mum Guilt Is a Daily Struggle That I Can’t Win

Faith

Participation in a faith community has been imperative to making this working-mum thing, well, work for me. It gives me the “peace that passes understanding.” Some days, that peace is all I have — other days, it’s all I need. Even if you’re not religious, try joining a parenting class or even a book club. You can turn any place into a therapy session as long as you’re willing to talk. And I’m willing to bet that you’ll walk away with a little more faith than when you arrived.

Partner

I’m very lucky that I also have a great partner. We ebb and flow to support each other, but in parenting, our responsibilities aren’t 50/50. Often, he tells me he thinks I’m a good mum. And no matter how many times he’s said it, I still always need to hear it. Being honest with your partner about what you need, can make such a huge difference.

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

Other Mums

My company offers a monthly working-mums support group that I try to attend whenever I can. While I don’t connect with every woman in the group on everything, it’s reassured me that I’m not alone. Motherhood can be a terribly lonely place, one where you think nobody else could possibly be this tired, happy, sad, and excited all at the same time. Other mothers get it.

I know that this chaotic stage of stuffed animals, work emails, tantrums, and business calls is only temporary. This will not be the pace for the next 18 years . . . or even the next year. I’m sure I’ll have a million more things to feel guilty about as he gets older, but for now, I’m doing OK. I’m tired, but I’m OK.

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn…

Unique Mobiles That Will Do More Than Put Your Baby to Sleep

If you’re Sick, Here’s What You Need to Know about Breastfeeding with a Fever

If you choose to breastfeed, it can be one of the best bonding experiences for mother and baby. While it’s not for everyone, those who do it know how big of a commitment it is.

You stay up at all hours of the night, spend your lunch breaks pumping bottles, and even nurse through the pain of dry and cracked nipples. You sacrifice yourself to make sure your baby gets the essential nutrients they need to grow and develop.

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

Since flu season is hitting the country extremely hard this year, and it’s also normal for rundown mums to get sick, it’s important to ask questions about your baby’s health when you’re feeling under the weather.

Related Topics:

One of those major questions is: should you stop breastfeeding if you’re running a fever? POPSUGAR spoke about the issue with Brandi Jordan, board-certified lactation consultant, pediatric sleep specialist, newborn care specialist, certified postpartum doula, and founder of The Cradle Company, a parenting resource center that offers classes and services in things like lactation, breastfeeding, sleep training, and childbirth education.

Jordan revealed that mothers will be happy to know that it’s not only OK to keep nursing if you have a fever, it’s actually encouraged.

“It’s been standard protocol for decades that a fever was not a sufficient reason to stop nursing your baby,” she said. “Years of research has shown no increased risk of illness or infection being passed on to the infant.

If parents are concerned about their little one’s developing immune system, that’s even more reason to pass on those antibodies and nutrients found in mom’s milk!” Jordan concluded that “everyone’s history is different, so it’s always best to consult with your medical provider to make an informed decision.”

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn…

Things You Should Never, Under Any Circumstances, Say to Your Pregnant Partner

What to do When Your Child Misbehaves in Public

We all know that dealing with our children’s misbehavior at home is difficult, but most of us would agree that dealing with our children’s misbehavior in public is the worst.

When our children misbehave in public we feel the combined effects of frustration and damaged pride.  We have to stop what we’re doing to deal with the behavior while we and our children are left open to judgment by on-lookers

Parents Feel Pressured to Win the Battle in Public

I remember my oldest son’s first tantrum in public.  He was about 16 months old and hadn’t had too many tantrums at that point.  In other words, I was a newbie when it came to dealing with tantrums.

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

The tantrum was over a bag of bread that was at the top of the loaded grocery cart and within his reach from where he sat.  He reached it and immediately began to squish it.

Now at this point I had three choices.
I could be permissive and let him squish the bread.
I could take the bread from him.
I could distract him with something else and swiftly remove the bread.

Well, unfortunately, I panicked because the bread was being squished. I told him “No-no!” and I took the bread from him.

Relates Topics:

I parked the cart and waited.  And he tilted his head back and screamed.  A few air-raid-sirens screams later, he won and I lost.  I pushed the cart quickly to the next aisle with my head down, avoiding the stares of strangers.

What must these people think of me?  I let him win.  To have other parents witness my lack of control over my child was mortifying.  I was angry with myself and angry with my child.  And truth is that if I had simply distracted him in the first place we would have gone peacefully on our way.

Tips for Dealing with Misbehavior in Public

Those people staring at you are just glad it’s not them. Remember you are not being judged as much as you think you are.

Never sacrifice your relationship with your child by using some “discipline” tactic such as spanking, yelling or threatening just because others are watching. Remember don’t be too harsh or too permissive for the sake of others.

Be proactive. The best way to avoid a tantrum is to avoid tantrum triggers.  Is your child hungry? If you’re going grocery shopping, bring a snack.

Set the rules before you enter the place you are going.  If I tell my children “no candy or toys” before we walk into the toy-and-candy-on-every-aisle-store, then they already know not to ask or that if they do my answer will be no.

Don’t be afraid to walk away.  Leave your cart and walk outside with your child until he or she calms.

Are you sensing a theme here?  Relationship, relationship, relationship.  You have no responsibility to the on-lookers.  You only have a responsibility to your child to provide swift, consistent discipline that is firm, yet gentle and loving, in whatever setting you may be.

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn…

How To Be a Good Parents

Why I’m Handpicking Some Dads for My Son

It could read like the first line of a dating profile: Lesbian moms seek loving, compassionate dads. My partner and I wanted to have children without a third person—and personality—in the picture.

So, my 6-year-old son and 8-year-old daughter are products of an anonymous but “open” sperm donor, meaning they donʼt know him, but they have the option of seeking out his identity when they turn 18.

– 5 Tips For Good Parenting

Someday they may find the donor, but they will never have a “dad.”

 While my daughter will presumably learn how to become a woman by modeling the behavior of my partner and me, we must even the scales for our son by illustrating for him different ways to be a man today, beyond archetypes of Iron Man and Luke Skywalker. And the older he gets, itʼs becoming clear that I have to create a dad—or a few dads—for him.

Related Topics:

 Our son is in some ways a pretty typical boy. Heʼs into light sabers, superheroes, ninjas, and running wild. But starting about two years ago, when any man would enter our home, he would whisper to me, “Will he wrestle with me?”

He was hungry for male attention, and we realized it was our job to carve out male relationships for him.

When my partner and I began trying to conceive years ago, an old friend asked us, “But aren’t you concerned that your children will need male figures in their lives?”

“Well, duh,” we thought, appalled that someone would proscribe our parenting paradigm, and also hurt by what felt like a homophobic, if well-intentioned, undercurrent.

But now that conversation is more than theoretical—it’s a conscious task on my part. I must find dads!

 As a part-time, stay-at-home mom, I spend a lot of hours with my kids—and other children and their parents. And, not unlike a dating candidate searching for compatible partners, Iʼm always on the hunt for adult men—but with the added requirements that they be interested in hanging out with children and socially compatible with my kids and me.

We want to create fun male-bonding opportunities for our son, but we’re also trying to expose him to regular positive models of masculinity.

 But he doesnʼt want just any man, anywhere. Some men he is indifferent to; others inexplicably drawn toward; and it’s steered seemingly by chemistry. So, following my sonʼs lead with specific men, I’m building a patchwork quilt of dads, a composite of people that includes close friends and men I barely know.

The process is a bit random, as was that of choosing a donor—perhaps someone musical, or humorous, or just low-key and sweet. Mostly, I let our son steer the way.

 We’ve found the gregarious actor dad, who does impressions and is known as “The Funny Man,” as in “Can we go to the Funny Manʼs house again?” He invited us in one day when we passed his house on the street and taught my son how to use toy nunchuks.

The boy still talks about it a year later. Thereʼs the high school teacher dad, who rides his vintage bike to pick up his two sons and takes our son home with them on occasion for man-dates: play involving Pokemon cards, plastic swords, ice cream, and TV. And we have my best friendʼs husband, who runs a kids’ summer camp and has two daughters.

When we visit, he and my son may play a board game or sit back to back on the sofa reading a graphic novel and The New York Times.

 I donʼt feel bad that we had children without a tangible man—it wasnʼt a choice. My partner and I had been together 10 years, wanted children, and didnʼt have a known-donor option. I do wish that my kids had a father, because I know itʼs hard for a kid to feel different from his peers, but we did the best we could given the parameters of biology.

Our kids have two loving parents who bring different traits to the table—some masculine, some feminine, some not specifically gendered.

But I do see now that it’s our responsibility to build a community of men, for both of our children, that most importantly show them that there are good, kind, loving fathers out there; that women arenʼt, and shouldn’t be, the only nurturing parents; and to demonstrate how to properly spin a nunchuk.

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn…

7 Creative Ways to Motivate Your Kids to Do Their Homework